wat do u call a life where u cant spend one sec. of it on ur own ...u jst r feared about that one thng..my life is crushed between super egos of 2 individuals none ready to give an inch of space for me to live the way i want it..
simply cant enjoy small pleasures of life in that fear..m afraid of even makin a post on my wall coz smeone s upset by it..it s like carnal sin....
now i really think 200 times before even thinkin somethng......
i cant even sleep wen i feel like coz it s annoyin to smoeone ..if i dozed off without takin permission then my whole of next day s like a nightmare...cant go for walk wid my friens.. cant just speak my heart out...its a crime to do if done without permission...m sure dead if this post s read..but then if i die i ll spared..
y d hell did i ever grow up.....i just wish to go back in time and unwind the thngs.......

one day one of my friends asked me-wats best way to commit suicide?
i replied-why r u askin such stupid thing? y d hell u wanna do such a thing?
he looked into my eyes and asked-give me a good reason to live
i said-think wat ll happen to others who r connected to u . ur family ur friends ...
he said - i guess initially they may cry a bit but after that they ll ve less trouble which i use to create for them. i havent given them any reason to be happy or to smile so far..only troubled them and made them cry. so if i cant bring any joy by my living may be i can just reduce their sorrow a bit..

i looked at him..he walked away.. i just kept lookin at him disappearing away from my sight..

when you break down or get angry at least you are showing some emotion and but when I am not in a position to burst out my emotions it only builds up within. cant say what is going to happen but it is only adding ability to tolerate. tolerating has become a part of my life..from home to school to work to... i dont what next !!!but even this cant keep people happy..oh god! give me more strength so that i can do something which can bring some joy to some one's life..help me lord.

when the pain becomes unbearable and breaks your tolerance you cry expressing your hurt and pain. But beyond a limit the tears dry up and you dont cry anymore. The more you go through it the more stonelike you become; hardened up to face the eventualities of life. If a person is not able to vent out his feeling and frustrations for something he dislikes it shows he is afraid of something or someone. This fear haunts him day and night and for days and years and stays with him life long but no one understands the reason or cause of such behaviour. I wish i could share more...

i thought life was simple and and straightforward.
books made it look so easy. they never tell us about the real life complexities. they tell only about black and white in world. but now i feel its grey which is dominant color in this world. i guess i have not grown up yet. i still see things in black and white. am I still living in my dreams. oh yes...! my dreams had come true but i dont know what is going to happen when i wake up...i want my dream to last for ever coz' the world is much better in my dreams...
when you have decided to walk with someone forever. the world looks so bright when your feelings could be understood but when its deeply buried inside you and you are not able to express it to concerned person , the same world just seeps into darkness..
loneliness is there even though people appear around you..
i wish i could share my loneliness..

i wonder at times wat should i do wen things dont work to ur plan..shout at others..shout at urself..or jst go in to one corner push urself against the wall and face the consequences.....
its easy for people to follow the former two paths but it really takes ones character to standup to ur actions....
every one faces the same set of problems and he thinks his problems are toughest and others hav an easy path in life....may be some times i may also think like others but then it is important for a person to understand is he the only sufferer....
it is easy to choose between two dissimilar paths but it is really difficult to choose between two similar ones...in both the cases one has to give up some things to get the other things....
life is all bout wat choices one makes decides his ultimate destiny....

hello friends...i m back with my inner spirits rejuvenated and inspired...he he dnt wrry i ve nt yet become ne Godman or Baba all f a sudden..but the break frm mundane daily chores of college and goin to new place seems to ve provided me freshness.
although m goin to do same wrk again in college but the energy level has been boosted as if it has been infused by some magical touch of a fairy

the IPL fever seems to have caught to too many indians right now..people hav become couch potatoes..the total productivity level has shrunk and over all weight on earth has increased..imagine now that so far there were 8 teams and in total 60 matches were played spanning bout 45 days...now some idiot decided to wreak havoc in teh country and hence fancied the idea of including 2 new teams for IPL-4..now 34 more matches for over 2 months..wat a waste of time in india..more couch potatoes..more periods of no wrk and and high complacency creepin in..
but one thng that IPL has achieved besides unprecedented marketing blitzkrig is drop in the level of anti social activities across the country on the days of matches played than other days..may b those guys also wanna take a day off and munch some potatoes..

enough of IPL bashing..

good night